“Normal”

Scott and our nephew Max

Scott and our nephew Max. This pictures makes my heart physically ache with longing, but also makes me so incredibly happy.

I wish this was easy. I wish I could easily bear my husband’s children, but that is not our case. Scott will likely never have biological children of his own. That hurts me more than I think I will ever be able to express. But I also have ALWAYS known that Scott will always love whatever children he has. I have known that from very early on in our relationship. It’s hard to explain, but I have always felt that we would have a child with special needs. I have no idea why but it’s something that I really thought would happen naturally with us. Scott has always had a special place in his heart for those children and I always thought that he had so much to teach me in that area. I always thought that we would naturally conceive a child with special needs and that he would be thrilled. Scott would excel in that area and I would struggle. I would wish we had a “normal” child while Scott would praise God for his faithfulness in a child. Any child. This is something I knew when we were still just dating and really don’t know why. Maybe this feeling that I’ve always had will now manifest itself in another way. No kids we will ever have will be “normal”. They won’t be biologically related to their father (Scott), but just like a child with special needs I know that Scott will excel in this. He’ll be praising God for whatever child we have and will be an amazing father. I can’t wait to see him in that role. He’s going to be such a wonderful dad to whatever kids we have.

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One thought on ““Normal”

  1. Carolyn Karstens says:

    I can see this about Scott too. However, I also see this in you Kendra. You two will be amazing parents to some very lucky kids someday! We just don’t know how or when.

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